Archive for November, 2009
Cobra Staff member and Golf Entertainer/World Long Drive Champion, Dan Boever, is visiting Iraq on a goodwill tour to meet with the troops. This is the tenth in a series of updates from his travels.
November 29, 2009
Our second stop on this day would be to Camp Carver. We reached this location after a 15-minute helicopter ride from FOB Hammer. As we approached you could see a nice big wall around the entire facility. We had been told earlier that Hammer and Carver were set up so the troops could move out of Baghdad.
When we got off the choppers we met Lt. Colonel Rich Greene and CSM (Command Sergeant Major) Ben Jones. I knew in a hurry this stop was going to be special. We were met by a large group of soldiers and you could tell they were eager to see some golf balls get in the air. As I shook the hand of Lt. Colonel Greene, I instantly knew he was not someone to mess around with. He is made of re-bar, laser beams and a super duper electronic chip. Wrap all that together and plug it into a heart the size of Texas and you have the man who was hurting my hand.
After a few more handshakes with troops we moved to the location designated to hit balls. It was a scenic area just a few feet from where we landed. And by scenic I mean rocky. There were rocks on top of rocks. But guess what? There wasn’t a person there who gave a crud that we weren’t on the driving range at Pebble Beach. I imagine I couldn’t have found a better place in the golf world to be than right there. Our man Tim Simpson got things cranking and then the guys got to ask Tom and Corey some questions. You can watch these dudes on TV all day long, but there is nothing like hearing the stories firsthand.
When my turn came, I hit a few balls up into the air. These shots will go roughly 800 feet straight up before they land 12 seconds later. One of the guys joked that the balls might possibly show up on their radar system designed to track incoming mortar. We all had a big laugh and I asked how high it would need to be. Lt. Greene told me I should hit one at the 300 foot tower behind us to see if it would track it. I told him I didn’t want to hit anyone and his answer was that it would only hurt for awhile (yikes). Considering it a direct order, I took aim at the very top of the tower. My second shot was right on track from the beginning. The minute it left the club face everyone knew it had a chance, and when it clanged off the tower a foot from the top everyone went crazy.
When I am old and can’t remember what day it is or what a 7 iron is used for, I will always remember that shot with the troops so far from anywhere smack dab in the middle of nowhere.
The other really cool thing that happened during the clinic was Lt. Colonel Don’t-screw-with-me got a chance to hit the second golf shot of his life. He said his dad was a huge golfer and he remembered spending many Sunday afternoons watching tournaments with him. You could tell the memories were still vivid and it was a wonderful time together for father and son. His first shot had been many years earlier with his dad. Now he was in front of his men and to top it all off he had the great Tom Watson standing right next to him. I could tell he was nervous as he waggled a bit, and by a bit I mean Sergio-of-years-gone-by waggles. To no one’s surprise (actually, probably everyone’s surprise), he laced his right down the middle. It was a wonderful moment watching this man step up and do what should not have been done. I am confident that is just a normal day at the office for him.
At dinner, Lt. Colonel Greene presented me with a plaque that showed the tracking of the ball! The radar had in fact picked up the flight of the golf ball. I was speechless for the first time in a long time as I looked at this simple little piece of paper. It has to be one of the most special gifts I have ever gotten.
During our meal together we spoke about the struggles troops have to keep their families strong. The concern for his troops and their families was evident in his words and on his face. I told him I could already feel the effects of being gone and out of touch after a mere four or five days, and that I couldn’t imagine months or years. Having a strong, healthy family is tough even in the best of times, but throw in the pressures of being gone and days filled with constant worry and you have a bunch of folks who need our support and prayers.
I asked what I could do when I got home and he said, “Shake someone’s hand, tell them you appreciate them and offer to take them to lunch.”
That is something I can definitely do.
Soon our Black Hawks were back to fly us off to our last location of the night. The time had flown and I was genuinely sad to leave. I got the feeling it won’t be the last time I speak with Lt. Colonel Greene.
“It will only hurt for awhile,” … I want to make sure that man is always my friend!
November 29th, 2009
Cobra Staff member and Golf Entertainer/World Long Drive Champion, Dan Boever, is visiting Iraq on a goodwill tour to meet with the troops. This is the ninth in a series of updates from his travels.
November 28, 2009
Tuesday started to the sound of machine gun fire. Yeah, just a normal day for me off in Southwest Missouri. I have come to expect seeing a lot of things that are out of my daily norm. As I peeked out through my curtains I could see a fog hanging over the lake and I ran out to get some pictures. It was so beautiful to see. I almost forgot for a few seconds I was 7,000 miles from home.
We started our day at headquarters meeting again briefly with General Anderson and then we got to go to General Odierno’s office to get a short brief on the progress that has been made in Iraq over the past two years. The passion in General Odierno’s words were very moving. I really just sat there dumfounded at being in his office listening to him. He ended the meeting by presenting us with a gift, and few times in my life have I felt more humbled.
We then drove to meet up with two Black Hawk helicopters to start our journey for the day. It would consist of three stops southeast of Baghdad. I gotta tell you, it was a bit freaky seeing the gunners sitting there looking out the windows with machine guns ready. We all just sat and looked out across the city and then the countryside as we flew about 20 minutes to FOB (Forward Operating Base) Hammer. Shortly before we got to Hammer we flew over an area that could have passed for an area right outside St. Louis. I looked and saw a river and lush green fields. Corey Pavin said when they were there two years earlier they never would have flown directly over Baghdad. He said they would have had to fly way out of the way and do a bunch of zig zags. I am very glad for the change.
As we got near Hammer you could see the wall that surrounds the entire location. It is a massive complex and I can’t imagine anyone jacking with them out there. I picture it next to impossible to sneak up on that place. When we landed at Hammer we met the leadership, ate and then headed to the driving range. The range is a big open field with some signs measuring distance every 50 yards.
At one point I was going to go out and try to film the balls landing but thought maybe that wasn’t such a good idea. I really caught myself watching where I walked on much of the trip. It is not like I was out in the dangerous areas but I wasn’t gonna take any chances.
We all hit some shots and the troops again had the chance to listen to longtime greats Tom Watson and Pavin do their thing. They are both so approachable for the troops and I have really enjoyed seeing them interact with all the men and women in uniform. As we ended our clinic, fellow world long drive champion Bobby Wilson took a shot at hitting a ball through the driving range sign. The width of the sign wasn’t a problem but we both learned a valuable lesson in physics. If there is a plastic cover over the wood, you probably don’t want to try and hit a ball through it. Check that, you definitely don’t.
The Black Hawks were headed back so we said our goodbyes and headed out to our next stop at Camp Carver. The time we spent at this next location proved to be one of the highlights of the trip for me. I will have more to come about the studs at Camp Carver. Thanks for following along.
November 28th, 2009
Cobra Staff member and Golf Entertainer/World Long Drive Champion, Dan Boever, is visiting Iraq on a goodwill tour to meet with the troops. This is the eighth in a series of updates from his travels.
November 27, 2009
Sunday started a bit earlier than I was hoping. After going to bed three and a half hours earlier, the 3:30 wakeup call was not something I was anxious to take part in. I know, what a baby. We rolled out of Arifjan at 4 a.m. and headed out for the hour and a half trip up the road to a camp I can’t remember; I just remember mean-looking guards at the gate and that it was very dark.
It was there we got on a C130 to fly to Baghdad. Before we boarded the plane they told us it was time to put on our vest and helmet. Prior to leaving on the trip I had to sign a release that said if anything bad happened I was responsible for any and all issues that may come out of being injured, or worse. Putting on the helmet and vest brought me a small step closer to the realization that something bad was a possibility. Seeing the soldiers in the back of the plane eye-balling the ground looking for enemy fire as we flew didn’t make me feel much better.
I gotta tell you, any soldier who has flown more than two hours on a C130 is a hero in my book. If someone has flown over 10 hours (which I know many have) then they deserve some type of medal and extra pay for life. If you are claustrophobic it is the not the place to be. Sitting sideways and not being able to look out the windows made me try and find my “happy place.” On the flight with us were 15 or so soldiers and three senators with their 32 aides. During the flight I got the opportunity to go to the flight deck and hang out with the crew. There were four young men in command and all of them would be carded at any bar they tried to enter. Total age was less than 100.
It was freaky to think as we flew I was looking down over the country of Iraq. How in the world did I get to the place in my life where I would be standing in the front of a C130 looking down from the heavens at this country? It sure was a long way from where I grew up in little Remsen, Iowa. We flew into Sather Air Force Base (I actually wrote the name down this time) and immediately went to a meet-and-greet with the troops. They were all so very kind and I even met one who lives in Le Mars, Iowa. Le Mars is a mere 10 miles from Remsen. Small world. We then got into the armor-plated vehicles and drove to the JVB Hotel located on Camp Victory. I understand it was actually a palace originally built for Saddam Hussein’s oldest son. It is very impressive size-wise. I imagine you could comfortably house a family of 100 in there. It would be my first of many eye-openers to the lavish waste of wealth from Saddam.
We threw our bags down and 15 minutes later we met more troops out on the back patio. This time we would do it with clubs in hand. They set up some mats and we proceeded to smash balls out into a lake that runs right up to the palace. It was a lot of fun with the guys hitting skippers and moon balls. At one point, Corey Pavin jumped in to hit off my waist-high tee. He hit it like the pro he is – perfect. Then Tom Watson said he wanted to try it. The results were not quite as good as Corey’s. Tom hit under it and made the ball shoot straight up off the overhanging roof. The ball ricocheted off three pillars, two soldiers and a bench before rolling into the water. The soldiers went crazy with laughter and Tom just smiled and said, “Gimme another one!”
When we finished we went to the room for six minutes and got ready for our evening plans. First would be a meeting with Multi-National Force Chief of Staff Brigadier General Joseph Anderson and then we would dine with Multi-National Task Force Commander General Raymond Odinerno. All I can say is – VERY COOL. Mr. Anderson was very welcoming and spoke with us about progress they have made in the last two years. As I listened to him and watched him all I could think was, this is excellence in action. And… I would not want to jack with this guy!
We were then shuttled to the home of General Odierno. As we spoke it was mind-boggling to comprehend this man I was speaking with is a very powerful four-star general. It was such an honor to be with him and to be part of the evening. Also in attendance were numerous other generals. All of them were nothing but classy. I nearly cried as I looked around the room and pondered the years of sacrifice and service these men and their families have dedicated to our country and its citizens. After dinner we headed to the back patio for some golf. Balls started flying into the night as we tried to hit a nearby building. Even though these men are disciplined professionals they are still men and the thought of knocking a ball off the side of a building was more than they would stand.
November 27th, 2009
Cobra Staff member and Golf Entertainer/World Long Drive Champion, Dan Boever, is visiting Iraq on a goodwill tour to meet with the troops. This is the seventh in a series of updates from his travels.
November 25, 2009
This is now our sixth day into the trip. I have spoken to my wife fewer than 30 minutes since we left and I think I have spoken to my kids for less than five minutes. The busy schedule and nine-hour time change has made it difficult to communicate.
Our day starts 10 minutes from our hotel with a trip to see the “Victory over America” palace. This bombed-out monstrosity is located on the grounds of Camp Slayer and could be the single biggest selfish waste of wealth I have ever seen. The area it is located in was a recreational retreat for Iraqi leaders, much like our President’s Camp David.
If you have ever sat at home and cringed during a loud thunder and lightning storm you would not have wanted to be near this place when U.S. Forces decided to give it an “open air” look.
Our second stop was much like the first as we toured the former Ba’ath Party Convention Center. Big Building. Big Holes. It would not have been a good place to be.
Our first clinic would actually be right around the corner from the convention center. MWR (Morale, Recreation and Welfare) had another group of troops set up to watch us hit balls at a building. I didn’t see much grass while there but I did see plenty of water and an abundance of big concrete targets.
Bobby and I made a few more holes while Captain Pavin came up a bit short. Guess who hit it straighter?
Our second stop was Camp Victory Driving Range. This would prove to be the best golf facility we would encounter. Sgt. First Class Byrd from West Point, Ga., made sure we had everything we needed and more.
Our man Watson grabbed a 3-iron that had to be made in 1936 and proceeded to hit balls like it was the latest technology. There may just a reason he has been a champion for so many years.
After Tom, Tim and Corey had done their thing Sgt. Bryd brought his big bad self out in front of the crowd and said we needed to move across the street so some poor private didn’t get bonked on the head.
Hey guess what we got to hit at? Yes, you are correct, more water and another building. This time it was the location where Saddam was held.
Bobby got cranking with some tracers and then I took some shots at an open window that was calling my name. I can’t remember if I had permission but Mr. Byrd wasn’t around so what the heck. The troops wanted it and you gotta give the people what they want, right? I hit a bunch of balls close but couldn’t get it done.
Of course, the ever-competitive Watson jumped right in and tried to get it through. Although close on many, he got no cigar. Then Captain Pavin did his thing and even though he had a few near misses he would come up empty. Then came the “Big Dog”, Tim Simpson from Kooterville, Ga. In his hilarious southern drawl he said, “Hellllllll, let me try and hit it through that thar windrr.” A couple shots later, he had knocked it through and the troops went CRAZY! You would have thought it was the Super Bowl. Don’t let these cool tour players fool you, at the core they are just regular folks who want to hit golf balls at windows or anything that might break. God Bless America.
Our night ended with a meet and greet at the Camp Victory Recreation Center. It was a very intimate evening where we signed some autographs, heard some music from Matt Snook and played some pool. Best of all, we got the chance to speak with the troops.
I met a 32-year-old former golf pro who enlisted after Sept. 11. He said he wanted to find a way to do his part. He spent 15 months in Iraq, was home for the same amount of time and then re-deployed back to Iraq. His wife and two children, ages 12 and 9, are back at home. My heart went out to this young man knowing how much time he had been away from those he loves the most.
I asked what people like me could do to help.
“The families back home are the real heroes,” he said. “The spouses and kids who have to do it all are the ones who really need our help.
“When people ask if they can send something I tell them to send it to my wife and children. A gift or a note of encouragement goes a long way.”
Wow. He was just making a comment but I take it as a challenge to see what I can do to help families in the same way I would want mine to be helped.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I am already very thankful.
November 25th, 2009
Cobra Staff member and Golf Entertainer/World Long Drive Champion, Dan Boever, is visiting Iraq on a goodwill tour to meet with the troops. This is the sixth in a series of updates from his travels.
November 23, 2009
When I got up today I had no idea we would be in a vehicle for six hours between three different Army camps. Our fearless leader Rick told us to meet and be ready to go at 9:45 a.m. Thus, he deceived me into thinking the trip would be on my normal business hours. I was excited because I knew I could be up and out by 9:45. Little did I know that would be the last of those kinds of departures for quite some time. I am finding that he is a very sneaky man and he is really only thinking of the troops. His concern for our sleep and time is way down on his priority list. I heard him mention something about “we gotta suck it up.” I don’t like him very much.
Our first order of business was to go to command and get briefed by Mr. John Tutson, who is with the MWR. He shared the history and purpose for Camp Arifjan. We sat in a big war room and looked very important as we nodded. It was also very special to meet Command Sgt. Major Don Harbin from Wynne, Ark. He is a 29-year veteran and a good ol’ boy from my neck of the woods. He was very gracious as he posed for pictures and answered our questions about what goes on in his world.
We then jumped in the bus and rolled to our first stop where we had a quick lunch and then moved to the range to hit some balls for a few troops. It was very spontaneous and the looks on their faces were priceless when they saw Tom Watson and Corey Pavin roll out. Imagine hitting a few balls into the desert and here comes a couple of golf’s greatest champions.
Bobby, Tim and I also jumped into the action. Of course Bobby and I started hitting at objects downfield. We are not content to just hit some crappy straight drive down the middle like our tour friends. We need to see something break or at least get hit. So we zeroed in on a light pole out some 200 yards. It stood 60 feet high and was perfect for our desire to see some destruction on the driving range. Even Tom, Corey and Tim jumped in on the action. It was blast listening to the troops go crazy as ball after ball went zipping right past the lights. It was short but very sweet time with these men.
We left and traveled to Camp Buehring for our next stop. Again we rolled in and had a commander meeting where we had the honor of meeting the leaders of this very important camp. Camp Buehring is the entrance point for a large percentage of troops going into Iraq. They stop there for final preps before going into Iraq. Thirty seconds in the laughs started as Georgia Bulldog Tim Simpson started squaring off with Lt. Colonel Brian Naugher. It was one against 15, and Tim was definitely outgunned. Why? They are all from the great state of Alabama. Whether Auburn or Tide fans, they were in unison about their feeling towards the SEC rival Bulldogs. In his lovely southern drawl Tim cracked them with his first words.
“Hey did you hear Atlanta is going to expand its zoo?” he said. “Yeah, they are going to put a fence all the way around Alabama!”
We left the command center and went directly to a location where they have a humvee roll-over simulator. We all took turns flipping around upside down. Of course it was very safe. We were strapped in so tight you couldn’t move. And it was very slow, nothing compared to what a real soldier would experience. I was so claustrophobic I almost had them yank the door open before we even started. All in all it was a pretty cool experience.
We then went to meet the troops and signed autographs. I was very proud to be from Springfield, Mo., as I watched Tom Watson give out Bass Pro Shop Gift Cards to the troops. John Morris is the founder and owner and he donated the cards for Tom to give to the troops. There I was, a million miles from home, and I could see a touch of my world each time he handed them a card. I was also deeply honored to have my association with Cobra and Pinnacle as I handed out drivers and golf balls they graciously donated.
After the hour-and-a-half drive back to Kuwait, our day ended at midnight. Sleep would have to be quick because our wake-up call was for 3:30 a.m.
A long day, but definitely a good one.
November 23rd, 2009
Cobra Staff member and Golf Entertainer/World Long Drive Champion, Dan Boever, is visiting Iraq on a goodwill tour to meet with the troops. This is the fifth in a series of updates from his travels.
November 22, 2009
I am up, not because I am an early riser but because I can’t sleep and my body has no idea what time it is. I thought I had planned everything perfectly. I would go to sleep right after takeoff (which I did) sleep for seven or eight hours (which I did) and then be ready to go to sleep around midnight Kuwait time (which I did not). It was more like 3:15 a.m. when I finally shut out the lights.
Most of Saturday for me was effectively gone when I got onto the bus because of all the hoops we had to jump through upon arrival here. Fortunately Rick Kell (our host and main man at Troops First Foundation) is very thorough and he has us all taken care of (with some special help from his wonderful daughter Lindsey). Rick is a man who has a heart for the troops and their families and I am honored to now call him my friend. He has been over some 15 times so he had things worked out for us to move as quickly through all the paperwork as possible. The Troops First Foundation is an organization that has come to life from Rick’s early visions about helping troops and their families.
Of course, I was pretty happy because the first sign I saw upon arrival inside the terminal was the McDonald’s sign. God Bless America and Ray Kroc! Well, I passed on the opportunity but Tim Simpson made a beeline for the quarter pounder section. Both of them were gone in record time.
We then loaded into a van and headed out to our quarters for the night. One of the men assigned to us told me they were security detail. He said, “Did you ever see the movie Taken? We are what Liam Neeson was in the movie.” Well, I have to tell you, as much as he was trying to comfort me, he didn’t. He just made me remember that someone out there may actually want to inflict some harm. It was actually pretty cool watching our “tail” zig and zag out of traffic to make sure no one had plans to mess with us.
After an hour or so on the road we arrived at Camp Arifjan. It is a major support center for most of what happens in Iraq. Our quarters for the evening are very nice. Bobby and I are sharing a living area. We each have our own room and we share a bathroom. There is also a kitchen and fridge, which we will have little use for. We are told this is an area where the big dogs stay when they are here. It is really nice and after Pavlet led me to believe I would be walking two miles in pitch black to go to the latrine in the middle of the night, I am excited to have a bathroom nine feet away.
One thing I found interesting as we traveled out here to camp were all the tents set up in the desert. I asked about it and the guys told me the people from this area go and stay in the tents throughout the winter months. It is their way of keeping with their long tradition of living in the desert. If I explained it incorrectly, I apologize. All I know is, you can see bright lights, tents and fancy cars in every direction.
I now am officially loopy and it is time for bed. What day is it? I am more of a wimp than I ever imagined.
November 22nd, 2009
Cobra Staff member and Golf Entertainer/World Long Drive Champion, Dan Boever, is visiting Iraq on a goodwill tour to meet with the troops. This is the fourth in a series of updates from his travels.
Tuesday November 21, 2009
The day at Walter Reed was very cool because we actually got to see the guys swing clubs. We went out to the front lawn and the SMGA (Salute Military Golf Association) had mats, balls and clubs ready to go for any soldier who wanted to come get a chipping lesson. With tour stars Tom Watson, Corey Pavin and Tim Simpson there, I pretty much was relegated to standing off to the side and pretending I know what to do with a wedge.
The first soldier I met earlier when I got there was Chris Burrell. He was hurt in December 2007 and was in getting his prosthetic foot worked on. He said he had been golfing and it messed up. After a swing, he looked down and it was sticking off to the side. At that point I commented that if someone didn’t know him or that he had a bionic leg, he could really mess with them. He laughed and said he does all the time. He then showed me what he called his “cool bar trick” and spun his entire leg 360 degrees in a circle stopping half way up at 180 degrees to show me his foot upside down. He and I would get along just spiffy.
Next I met Michael Williams. I had seen him walking out to the lawn with a foot sticking upside down out of the top of his backpack. He told me he was in getting a change made to his prosthetic. His injury was below the knee and he said as his body healed he would get different devices to make the fit perfect. Michael was easy to talk to and I found out he is a new golfer, having really only played a handful of times. My heart went out to him as he shared with me that he doesn’t like it when people treat him as a “some kind of cripple.” He said he appreciates it when people try to offer a seat or help with some things, but he doesn’t want it to be out of pity. As I looked at him, I told him I didn’t see anything but a stud with a goofy golf swing. We talked about his swing and he got some lessons from the great Tom Watson.
One of the men running the show was Ramone. He is missing an arm and he helped design “Robo Wrist.” It fits on his arm and rotates all the way around. I guarantee you don’t want to feel sorry for him. He will take your money on the course. His swing is that good.
I learned the difference in “walking legs” and “golfing legs” from Tim Johannsen of Ft. Stewart, Ga. This young star has two turbo legs and a swing that is better than most people on the planet. What makes it really amazing is he has only been golfing since February. I couldn’t believe it. He told me he never used to look at golf as a sport. He isn’t alone in that thinking.
We met Gabe Garcia and his beautiful wife and boy. Gabe is missing his right arm and our man Ramone suggested he play left handed. After spending some time working with Bobby Wilson he made the switch to right handed. After all, he played baseball and hit right handed, so why not try hitting a golf ball right handed? Sure enough, he was soon hitting it way better than he had from the left side. I am convinced Ramone was jacking with him and setting him up for a bet. We got that straightened out.
After the clinic we met a few soldiers in their rooms. One young man was a 22-year-old from Pennslyvania and had only been there a short time. Shot from a mere two feet away, he had lost his thumb and has damage to his mouth and jaw. It is healing and what he told us was pretty amazing: He said he can’t wait to get redeployed back with his guys and get back to work. Me? I would want to go home to my momma.
Our last encounter happened as we were leaving. We walked past young Christian Hughes. He had an entourage of family by his side and he was wheeling down the hall. A huge golf fan, Christian tried with all his might to get Corey Pavin to give him his captain’s picks for this year’s Ryder Cup. No doing, Corey was kind but tight lipped. It was so exciting seeing the entire family around Christian’s side. He had his sisters, parents and even grandparents. It didn’t go unnoticed that his grandfather had a veteran’s cap on. The pride dripped from everyone in attendance.
An incredible day and now it is off to Dulles for our flight to Kuwait.
November 21st, 2009
Cobra Staff member and Golf Entertainer/World Long Drive Champion, Dan Boever, is visiting Iraq on a goodwill tour to meet with the troops. This is the third in a series of updates from his travels.
November 20, 2009
I would have to say that most of the time I love seeing our troops in airports as I travel. When you fly 120 times a year you tend to see a lot of military personnel. I will usually silently pray for them and their families. It is always great to visit with one of them, especially when they are coming home. Man, are those wonderful sights to see as the entire crew gathers around to welcome home their hero.
Today was different though. Today I wasn’t so happy to see someone in uniform. Why? It goes like this. I was in the airport at Chicago O’Hare waiting on my flight to depart. I make the assumption that when some of you read the word O’Hare, you wince. Any seasoned traveler knows that going through Chicago is not always the most pleasurable experience. My flight into Chicago today was pretty typical. We left at 2:35 p.m. for what is to be a one hour flight. We will land, taxi a bit and be at the gate at 4 p.m. Right? Wrong. Here is a tip for those of you who do not fly much. When you land and taxi away from the terminal, you should get on your cell phone and check on your connecting flights. It is never good.
Here is how it usually plays out. First you hear a clicking noise with the microphone and then the captain comes over the speakers and says something to this effect: Ahhh (there is always a bit of a stammer), ladies and gentlemen thanks for flying with us (right out of a Zig Ziglar sales book), we know you have a choice when it comes to air travel (non of which are good) and we appreciate your business (read from a manual and very heartfelt). I am pleased to announce we were able to take a short cut and we got you here four minutes ahead of our scheduled arrival time (very impressive to everyone). But (oh here it comes, you never want to hear the “but”), I am sorry to inform you that because of our early arrival, the gate we are heading to is still occupied (listen to hear if the engines shut down, that will determine the level of your screwed-ness). We are quite certain the plane is about to push back and we will get you to the gate as soon as we can (the cockpit conversation is much different I’m sure). Thank you for your patience.
I can’t be the only one to ever hear those words. My favorite was in Dallas when we arrived six minutes early (they made sure we knew) only to sit on the plane (small tube) for 26 minutes waiting for the gate agent to come move the jet bridge up to the plane. I repeat, 26 minutes! They actually told us over the loudspeaker the gate agents didn’t know we were coming. We were all too stunned to even make fun of them. Here’s an idea, next time pick up the phone and let them know we might be dropping by.
Back to gate B17. I am just minding my own business eating a Big Mac – I mean a salad and fruit cup – when out of out the corner of my eye I see a very small, very fast brown thing run past my foot. I initially think it is some motorized toy a nearby child is playing with. After all, we are in one of the world’s most heavily traveled airports, so surely they don’t have varmints running around. When it darted back past me at a very high speed I realized it was no toy. It was a live mouse. Are you kidding me? I think he was after my Big Mac and that ain’t happening. I grabbed my video camera and jumped up on the chair. That’s when soldier boy sees me and asks if everything is alright. You really had to hear the tone. I don’t think his words meant what he was asking. I told him I was looking for a good angle from up high to shoot video in case the mouse returned.
You know, it might be cool to have that footage. You don’t see a mouse doing wind sprints all that often in a major airport. His grin told me I was busted. Why couldn’t he have been off having a drink or doing some push-ups somewhere?
I got a funny feeling I am not getting away with much over the next ten days. Our troops seem to have a pretty keen sense of the “latrine level” someone is dishing out.
I’m actually praying for him as well. I am praying he was coming home. I can’t risk seeing him again over there, stupid mouse.
Tomorrow is Walter Reed and the troops. Excited, nervous and soon to be humbled I’m sure.
November 20th, 2009
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